I miss you, Ate Karen.

Ate Karen, I miss you...

...when I wake up in the morning and you're not there in your room, watching Korean shows on your laptop.
...when I go to sleep and I think about how there's no one there in the next room.
...when I eat or cook something delicious.
...when I see your photos. You seem so alive in them.
...everytime I pass by your room and see it's always empty.
...when your favorite shows have new seasons, and you excitedly update me even if sometimes I'm not interested. (I wish I had shown more interest)
...when I go to use the bathroom and I think of the times I unintentionally scared you because you didn't know I was in there.
(I don't turn the lights on sometimes, that's why. :D)
...during special occasions.
...when it's dark and rainy.
...when it's bright and sunny.
...when I hear of people amazingly recovering from cancer. I wish you were one of them.
...when I wake up in the middle of the night and the truth of your absence hits me.
...when I see other hearing-impaired people.
...when I pray.
...whenever I borrow your jacket. It makes me think you're hugging me.
...when I open your closet and see all your things inside.
...everytime I think of the moments when I could've spent more time with you.
...when I remember what we went through together during your last two months with us.
...when I hug your clothes.
...even when there's nothing in particular that reminds me of you.


I don't need a reason to miss you. I just always do.

Being a lover of food, cooking, and cooking shows, I have always wanted to eat at a Michelin star restaurant. I imagine how the experience would be, and as the place has earned its culinary merits, I expect nothing less than superb food.

But my dream comes with a price. Literally. I’ve researched and seen how much it would cost me to eat at a Michelin star restaurant, not to mention the airfare I would need to get to a country with such a place. That is why when I heard of Tim Ho Wan, I got extremely excited.

This excitement was taken to a whole new level when I found out that Tim Ho Wan has opened in Manila. I watched as the lines snaked inside the restaurant but never had the time to join the cue myself, despite my eagerness to try it. So when my sister’s friends invited us to have lunch there I grabbed the opportunity to try out the much-talked about dimsum place.

The dining experience is pretty straightforward. Your placemats serve as the menu and everything is served to you hot and fresh.

This nondescript steamed egg cake proved to be a fluffy surprise. Think puto, but with a brown

This little packet is a surprise within a surprise. Open the lotus leaf to uncoverthe glutinous rice. Dig into the rice and see the tender and sweet pork filling that tastes of anise.

The congee had bits of century and salted eggs. It was alright. Nothing to write home about.

And now, for pièce de résistance – the pork barbecue buns. I’ve never liked siopao or any similar kind of meat bun, but this has converted me. The bun outshines the filling in my opinion, but both are good. It is light, crisp, and slightly sweet. I can just imagine eating bun after bun without the meat inside… yummy.

We also ordered the carrot cake, which tasted of caramelized onions. The hakaw was packed with shrimp, a winner for me.

I will definitely go back, if only for the buns. But I haven’t tried dessert yet and the other dimsum items so I still have stuff to tick off my list. If you want to try Tim Ho Wan and want cueing time to be relatively shorter, come in between lunch and dinner time to avoid the hungry crowd.

Flowers for Karen

I don't want the flowers to be all white.

That's what I said last August 30 when Nanay, Ate Tess, and I were talking about making arrangements for Ate Karen for when she goes. We were sitting on the bed behind hers while she slept, taking turns crying because we were facing the inevitable.
White flowers, in my opinion, do not fit Karen's personality. Her jolly character merits colorful blooms. I remember how she has added her nurses on Facebook, and how she would always say thank you to everyone who attended to her and paid her a visit. Whenever doctors and nurses asked her how she was, she would almost always say, 'I'm fine.' The radiation therapy guys at St. Lukes had become her buddies and they were saddened upon hearing of her passing. I remember this one night when we prayed and she repeated my words. I said, 'Bless me, Nanay, Tatay, Ate Tess, and Liza' and she added, 'And friends.'

Pinks, yellows, whites- that's what we gave Karen. She deserves hues as vibrant as the color she has given our lives. With a simple smile or a few words she's able to touch people and make them happy, an exceptional power not many have. We are forever grateful for the time she has spent with us, no matter how short.

This was originally posted in the Facebook group KAREN'S JOURNEY TO HEALING, which was created to document my sister Karen's battle against cancer.

Karen's Journey to Healing

Sunday
August 24, 2014

Nay and Tay had fallen asleep that morning. They weren't able to during the night so I let them rest. I told Ate Karen to catch my attention if she needed anything so we wouldn't wake up the parents; I was sitting in a chair facing her bed so she wouldn't have to ring the bell Tita Belen lent her. She has been using that at home to call us whenever she had to and that's why we brought it to the hospital, to avoid unnecessary strain on her voice which was already hoarse.

Taking photos was a way for me to get a smile out of Karen, but it had been difficult to do that the past few days. I just tried and said we'd take a photo for Ate Tess. She was feeling weak but still managed to do her classic peace sign pose, even with a nasogastric tube, oxygen, and cardiac monitor leads attached to her. She even asked me to get her mobile and earphones so she could watch some Koreanovelas, adding to the web of wires.
The previous night was very difficult but I tried my best not to show her that my heart was breaking. How can I not try when she herself was not showing any signs of giving up?

This is my Ate Karen-strong, brave, and happy even in the most trying of times.

This was originally posted in the Facebook group KAREN'S JOURNEY TO HEALING, which was created to document my sister Karen's battle against cancer.

Karen's Journey to Healing

August 31, 2014
Sunday

Ate Karen's breathing had become more and more labored during the previous night and that continued until the morning. The resident doctor checked her and then asked me to sign a form which would enable them to attach a tube to Karen in order to help her breathe. We refused. She had gone through so much the past few days and we were slowly trying to accept the fact that she was going to leave us; it was just a matter of time. We did not want to subject her to anything that would cause her pain.

Ate Tess and Tatay were looking for oxygen tank suppliers during this time. We were bringing Karen home the next day so she could lie down on her bed which she missed so much, and be comfortable during the last moments of her life. They rushed back to the hospital upon getting my text message so we could all be there for Karen. We were by her side, telling her how much we love her and the tears we desperately tried to hide from her since the day of her cancer diagnosis had started to flow uncontrollably. She was falling asleep.

We continued to be by her side and whispered whatever we wanted to say, when she suddenly uttered, "Saba" (Cebuano for "Noisy"). It was so her to say something like that and she still unknowingly provided comic relief during such a sad moment. And then she opened her eyes and so we all watched her and repeatedly reaffirmed how much we love her. She opened her mouth and told us, "I love you. Thank you. I...you." It was as if a ray of sunshine had burst through that small hospital room in the midst of grief and pain.

I hugged her, the first time that I was able to in weeks because I had feared accidentally touching the mass in her left breast. The cardiac monitor numbers slowly decreased below normal. The breaths became more and more shallow, the intervals between them longer...until there was no more. I touched her lips to feel any air come out but there was none. She had flown away. The ECG showed a flat line, and the doctor said, "Wala na po siya" (She's gone). And as soon as that happened, the darkness in Ate Karen's face had disappeared. She looked the best she had since the day we entered the hospital.

We find consolation in the fact that she had not suffered much pain, and that we said all we had to say. She in turn made sure that we would not fear for her by expressing her gratitude for all that we had shared together. We had become closer than ever during the past few weeks, so even if my grief is deep and the emptiness vast I take comfort in the fact that wherever she is right now, she is whole and happy. She has made me stronger and brave enough to do things I thought I never could. Thank you, Ate Karen. We love you so much. Life will continue to move forward but it will never be the same without you. You will forever be our baby, our ray of sunshine, and I will miss your sweet smile and hearty laugh. Don't forget about us because we definitely will not forget about you.

This was originally posted in the Facebook group KAREN'S JOURNEY TO HEALING, which was created to document my sister Karen's battle against cancer.

Ready. Aim. Click.

It’s early in the morning. As I adjust the photo enlarger knob and put the image in focus, my favorite Eraserheads tunes float into the air from my tape recorder/player. The only source of faint illumination are the enlarger and a safelight at the far end of the room. In spite of the ghost stories that plagued the UP Mass Communication darkroom I found peace in working alone and early. That way I could use the enlarger that worked the best and have the solution pans all to myself. Unlike processing panchromatic film which required total darkness, making prints was an enjoyable activity for me. Watching lines appear and seeing your photo come to life is nothing short of magic.

That black and white photography class introduced me to film. Digital photography was not yet as common as it is now but a transition was certainly taking place at that time. But even with the changes I still found something therapeutic about the whole process of taking photos, developing film, and making prints. It developed patience, attention to detail, a sense of self-control, and an eye for the beautiful.

The semester ended and so did my opportunity to work with film. Life and digital photography happened. Fast forward to years after...I was rummaging through my closet and I found an old camera - an Olympus OZ1 Weatherproof Panorama. The gadget sparked a childlike excitement and rekindled an interest I once put on the shelf. I could hardly wait for the test prints, preparing myself for disappointment just in case the camera was defective. But the results were far from being a letdown. My relatively young analog camera definitely exceeded my expectations. The colors and textures were vibrant, warm, and inviting . In this sense I think that when you use film it becomes the other subject in the photograph. It plays a role as important as the subject you frame because it adds character in the most unexpected ways.


I probably have forgotten most of the technical terms and rules that first photography class has taught me but I haven’t lost the desire to try and search for beauty even in the ordinary. I see, point, shoot, and wait to be surprised.

Matgalne Korean Restaurant

Me and my friend Model just finished a day at the studio recording Korean shows. We became curious about the abalone and that led to a walk through the streets of Makati to search for the said dish. We saw this nondescript restaurant named Gela, and entering its doors was like stepping into a portal that took us to Korea. We were the only Filipinos and every dish was foreign as it was interesting. They did not have abalone but had many other delicious things to offer.

Fast forward to several years later, that restaurant still stands to this day. It is now called Matgalne and  they already have a lunch and dinner buffet available. 
If you don't mind smelling like your dinner afterwards head to Matgalne and try their unlimited grilled meat.
Unlimited pork samgyupsal is available for P299 and unlimited pork and beef is at P399. Both options give you unlimited access to the buffet table filled with side dishes. Among my favorites are their soup, chap chae, and pickled radish.

Matgalne restaurant is located along Kalayaan avenue, Makati City.

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Couchsurfing, Korean style ;)

I've been a part of the Couchsurfing community (www.couchsurfing.org) since the second half of 2012 and met new friends through the site here in Manila. It's a very enjoyable experience to meet people who are interested in travelling as much as I am, to hear their stories and tell mine as well. And so last year, I decided to take things to a whole other level by seeking couchsurfing experiences abroad!

My first step into fulfilling this goal was taken in Singapore, when I was able to get in touch with CSer Alexander. He was kind enough to pick me and my family up from the airport and take us around for the evening. He's been to the Philippines several times and so he knows a thing or two about my country, which made for an interesting conversation.

Taking the couchsurfing thing even further I explored the possibility of actually surfing someone else's couch and this came to fruition in Busan, South Korea. At first I was a bit apprehensive about couchsurfing but I wasn't doing it alone and I thought it would be best to start as soon as I can before I lose the courage to do it.

Anne was a very kind and gracious host to me and my friend Mark but time constraints kept us from getting to know her a lot better. Her apartment was comfy as she was accomodating. She seemed like a very independent, interesting, and friendly person, and she even vouched for me on Couchsurfing! If that first experience is an indicator of how the future ones will go then I'm in for a ride.

___________________View from Anne's homey flat


Months before the Korea trip I had already gotten in touch with Bangg, a Korean whom I found on the site. He was a relatively new member and didn't have a single reference to back him up but my instinct told me to give him a shot. We communicated through the mobile app Kakao talk and decided to meet up at Myeongdeong one afternoon in Seoul. The language barrier was certainly not a hindrance to us having a great time.

___________________My name in Korean

__________________It seems this is how they feel about learning English. :D

Fortunately my couchsurfing experiences on foreign soil have turned out to be fantastic. Cheers to new places, experiences, and friends!

Yum, Korea! 잘 먹었습니다

I was looking at my photos of Korea and noticed a lot of them were food pictures. That actually makes sense since I was always looking forward to meal time apart from all the sights, and so I've decided to whet your appetite with these culinary delights.

Soju is a distilled alcoholic beverage that Koreans consume neat. I have tried several times to get accustomed to its flavor but all those times I have failed. I just find it too strong. Luckily, there are several ways to make soju easier to take. One is 'somaek' - a combination of soju and beer. The concoction I prefer is flavored soju because the addition of a fruit slushy waters down the strong alchoholic flavor.

Me, Mark, and Reg having Kiwi soju. Love the crunchy Kiwi seeds! :)

Bibimbap is rice topped with meat,vegetables, and egg, and comes with a spicy sauce to round everything off. Mix everything and this makes for a delicious meal anyday. This one is a red rice bibimbap which I had at Busan.

As with most Korean dishes this stew is spicy especially since the main ingredient is kimchi or fermented cabbage/lettuce. I just love 'Kimchi jigae' because of the flavorful soup and the soft, silky tofu that almost melts in your mouth. It tastes even lovelier topped on steaming rice. It's the perfect comfort food for a rainy day.

Since it was summer when I was in Korea I needed to cool off with this delectable 'bingsu'. It's shaved ice with an assortment of toppings and in this case we had red bean and green tea ice cream. The combination was not too sweet and it tasted quite earthy.

Korean fried chicken. I know what you're thinking. I must sound ridiculous mentioning fried chicken in this list but this is no ordinary fried chicken. This is usually bar food but I'll be happy to have this with a plate of rice for dinner or even on its own as a snack. It's hot,slightly sweet, fried to a crisp, and spicy. Need I say more?

'Bulgogi' is marinated beef that's tender, flavorful, and succulent. It's grilled on your table and comes with a soup that's light and sweet. The meat is thin and so it doesn't leave you with a heavy feeling after eating.

Since kimchi is something Korea has a lot of, they have thought of countless ways to utilize this dish. Lo and behold one of those ways, the Kimchi pancake. Best eaten hot, the batter keeps the outer part crisp and the inside soft and juicy. The one I had at Busan had a unique special ingredient- cheese. It made the center gooey and rich. Yummy!

It didn't take long for us to notice the people in Jeju island carrying bottles which looked like oversized Yakult and our curiosity led us to the convenience store's refrigerator. We discovered the drink was banana milk, and it was beside other flavors such as strawberry and chocolate. This sweet treat certainly brings out the kid in you.

Though I'm not a fan of 'makgeolli' or Korean rice wine, I have decided to put it on the list because of the adorable way they served it to us. The beverage was in an old-fashioned tin kettle that had its matching cups.


I still have tons of food photos from Korea but I'll end this list for now, or else I'll just keep going. The best piece of advice I can give you when it comes to travel and food- get your hands on everything that looks interesting (or weird) to you. Bon appetit!

Peru: More Than Just Macchu Picchu

Amazingly beautiful, wonderfully diverse, incredibly far yet strangely familiar – that is what comes to mind when I look back on my summer getaway in Peru. No amount of research and reading before the trip could have prepared me for what I was about to see. And so after three weeks of exploring what the country has to offer, I feel an obligation to share what I have seen, felt, and experienced. After all not many Filipinos get to be on that far side of the world(I was the first Filipino most hostels and foreigners encountered). Join me as I revisit my first South American experience in Peru.

Lima: First look at Peru
I entered Peru via Lima after a total of thirty hours in the air (plus a 6 hour-layover) to find that some parts of the city were strangely like Manila. The crazy drivers and car-filled roads made me feel like I had left home and then went back. Aside from that feeling of familiarity I will never forget Lima for its coastal fog which would descend early in the morning and then eventually clear up to reveal vibrantly blue skies in the summer. The afternoons would be a perfect time to go get a view of the Pacific Ocean from the cliffs of Miraflores as you take a walk along El Parque del Amor. Here you can catch a breathtaking sunset view, a sight of oranges, yellows, and reds which Lima is known for. The historic centre is also one of the noteworthy spots to be visited. I would have wanted to see more of it as I only drove by the area on my way to the airport. It looks to be filled with very interesting architecture that is worth a visit.

Aside from the scenery one thing I will never forget about Lima is the food. As a self-proclaimed foodie I did not miss the chance to try some ceviche, one of the country’s prized dishes which is the Peruvian equivalent of our 'kinilaw'. Some items on the menu looked very familiar, such as the escabeche and bistek. If you are up for something rich a plate of aji de gallina (chicken with creamy pepper sauce) will satisfy your craving. You also need to have the fresh trucha, trout fried to delicious perfection. Most dishes are accompanied by a side of rice, potatoes, corn, or two out of those three so it’s best to put aside your fear of carbs, if you have such.


Most people treat Lima as nothing but an entry point into the country, but as I have discovered it has a lot to offer which leaves much to be explored.

Huacachina: A desert oasis
Need I say more about Huacachina? The word oasis perfectly describes exactly what it is. Imagine tall, endless sand dunes, where you can sandboard and take thrilling buggy rides. And then think of a green lagoon right in the middle of all that sand. I had never seen such a sight until that point and so I was thoroughly in awe. It was such an incredible view to behold.

Getting there is just as remarkable. As soon as you get to the outskirts of Lima the landscape starts to change immediately. The bustling city becomes endless stretches of sand and once in a while you catch glimpses of the coast. The white scenery is occasionally peppered with patches of vineyards. Several hundred feet of sand on both sides of the road prepare to greet and amaze as you enter the tiny village.

If you ever find yourself in Huacachina, go up the dunes and stare at the wide expanse of space; envelop yourself with the feeling of nothingness. Catching the late afternoon sun as it sets will surely give you a memory you will not soon forget.

Arequipa: Anything but boring
Imagine cobblestone streets teeming with people, quaint eateries filled with delicious goodies, shops selling colorful Peruvian souvenirs and old churches whose walls have stood the test of time. I must say Arequipa is my favorite stop throughout the whole Peruvian adventure. There is never a shortage of things to see, do, and eat. The Plaza de Armas (main plaza) in front of the city cathedral is filled with people (and pigeons). Night life is bustling and very exciting. You can do a pub crawl and get a good headstart as their ‘happy hour’ starts as early as 7:30 in the evening and lasts up until midnight! Hot and spicy grilled skewered meats called anticuchos in between bar stops make for a good snack especially on a chilly night. And when you’ve had your fill of alcohol make sure you salsa the night away. In the morning when you’re hung over, just have more food-empanadas, pollo milanesa, and tamales, to name a few. A view of the snow-capped El Misti volcano will surely give you the energy to take on a new day.

Puno & Lake Titicaca: A Natural High
Again, this is one road trip I will never forget. Travelling to Puno from Arequipa was more than just a journey. The abundance of mountains, alpacas, and vicunas kept my eyes open. There is not much to see in the sleepy town of Puno, but it was here that I had my first of taste of chifa, a Peruvian permutation of Chinese food. It’s quite fascinating and unusual to be in South America, eating food from my side of the world.

I entered the city of Puno at night and so the morning view of Lake Titicaca outside the bus terminal hostel window was my first proper introduction to the place. Literally the highest point of my trip at more than 3,800 meters above sea level, I am glad I did not get a bout of altitude sickness. The highest navigable lake, Lago del Titicaca, is known not only for its exceptional elevation but also for the man-made islands on it. Stepping on the Uros floating islands, made solely of stacked reeds, is a unique experience. You can stay on one of the islands overnight if you want to, given the weather permits it.

Cusco: More than just a stop to Machu Picchu
Here is where it gets more touristy, since the goal of most visitors to Peru is to see Macchu Picchu. This does not come as a surprise because Cusco is usually the jumpoff point to this ancient wonder. But in spite of this the town’s charm did not fail to capture me. Going to the Mercado Central de San Pedro for a hearty breakfast of chicken soup was one of my staples while I was there. Here in the bustling market you will find an assortment of cheeses, breads, fruits, vegetables, souvenirs, meats, and just about anything that can interest you. Going away from the main square will lead you to little side streets filled with little artisan shops, bakeries and restaurants. If the weather gets too cold you can warm up by getting yourself a comfy alpaca wool sweater, hat, or scarf which are available everywhere.

The nearby areas of Moray and Maras are not to be missed. The green circular terraces of Moray, believed to be an ancient agricultural experiment station, is a proof of Incan ingenuity and skill. The stories and legends behind this archaeological site are just as interesting. The terraced salt fields of Maras are not to be missed. As we were approaching them the view of the place already took my breath away. Against a backdrop of green and red from the mountains and blue from the skies is an intricate layout of white salt evaporation ponds that have been used since Inca times. Magnificent should suffice to describe the landscape.

Final stop: Macchu Picchu
Getting there can be as easy or difficult as you want it to be. I had no choice but to take the cheaper, ergo more taxing journey to Macchu Picchu which involved a long ride on treacherous cliffside roads and then a hike along a railroad and into the lovely forest to make it to Aguas Calientes. I was treated to a great view of mountains, rivers, and a dusky sky. It’s not as scary as it all seems; you have fellow tourists to while away the time and make the task seem less daunting. The following day after hiking for almost two hours starting 4:30 a.m. from Aguas Calientes I made it in time for sunrise at Macchu Picchu and I must say, it made me tear up. First, it was out of exhaustion. Second, they indicated in my ticket I was Canadian so that’s one less Filipino on the already short list of Filipinos on their tally. And third, I still could not believe I was on the other side of the world, facing this ancient creation that still stands today. Not too many people get that chance and for that I was overcome with a sense of gratefulness. I spent a good length of time at what they call the guardhouse, where the postcard photos of Macchu Picchu are taken. Here I just fixed my eyes on the stone structures, the mountains and rivers, trying to take in as much as I can knowing that as soon as I leave everything would be a memory.

For me Peru is a great way to start discovering South America. If it is a sneek peak into what else is there on the continent then I am in, long plane rides, jetlag, language barrier and all. The diversity and beauty is certainly something I will never forget for the rest of my life.